P H I L I P M E T R E S
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QUICK QUIZ: THE PERSIAN GULF WAR
Please read all possible choices. Use a blank pencil. When circling the correct answer, make sure to erase all unnecessary marks on the page. Otherwise, the machine may not be able to recognize your answer.
1. The Persian Gulf War (1991) began as a result of:
a) the invasion of Iraq by Kuwait.
b) the invasion of Kuwait by Iran.
c) slant drilling of contested oil fields.
d) they took the babies from the incubators.
e) $1.25/gallon.
f) one hand tied behind our backs.2. Why did Saddam Hussein invade Kuwait?
a) Because he wanted to.
b) Because we didn't want him to.
c) Because April Glaspie, of the State Department, met with him in August 1990
and told him that we wouldn't get involved if he invaded and then he did and
to cover their tracks they killed her in a mysterious auto accident in
Washington. It's all there, on the internet. And if it's gone by the time you
look, you know who took it down. The internet is a D.O.D. invention. Think
about it.
d) Because Kuwait was bogarting the fries.
e) Because Kuwait is an Arabic word, meaning “I am destined to be habitually tardy."
f) Because Iraqis wanted to go swimming and couldn't since 1917.3. Operation Desert Storm
a) succeeded in all its aims.
b) succeeded in most of its aims.
c) aimed to please.
d) missed 75% of the time.
e) was a smarter war on account of the smart bombs.
f) comes with a special 3d card in every pack! Collect the whole set!4. Which of the following were signs carried at anti-Gulf War protests before the war in San Francisco?
a) Spit on the troops.
b) Oil is pig grease.
c) I like Bush.
d) Peace=pussy.
e) Saddam Saddam, he's our man, if he can't do it, Bin Laden can.
f) There were fucking protesters? What the fuck!
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